The Clever Trick by Chick publications

Christian: Do you know where you’ll be after you die?

Filthy Sinner: Well, I’m not sure it matters, since, by definition, I’ll be dead.
But presumably, very close to wherever I was just before I died.

Christian: Oh, it matters brother.

Filthy Sinner: Wait. Are you talking all that Bible Junk? Well, that’s ok, I
don’t really believe in all that stuff.

Christian: Oh man, you’ve fallen for Satan’s cleverest little trick.

Filthy Sinner: Huh?

Christian: It’s true. Satan knows that if he can get you to not even believe
in his existence, he wins.

Filthy Sinner: Really? Tell me more.

Christian: Oh yeah, see the “Bible Junk” you mention tells us that if you come
to Jesus, he will in no wise cast you out.

Filthy Sinner: What does “in no wise” mean?

Christian: Not.

Filthy Sinner: Oh. Why don’t they just say “not”. Or why don’t they just
say “Thou shalt in no wise commit adultery.” See, there are too
many inconsistencies in the Bible.

Christian: Well, first of all, brother, that’s from the “old testament”. And
second of all, I find it interesting that you go straight to the
adultery one.

Filthy Sinner: Well, I’m in no wise going to covet my neighbor’s ass. I got that one all under control.

Christian: Pride cometh before a fall.

Filthy Sinner: You talk funny. What’s that mean.

Christian: I don’t know. We just say it a lot at church. Sounds pretty cool, huh?

Filthy Sinner: Yea, it sounds all royal and stuff. So what’s this clever Satan thing again?

Christian: Satan tries to convince you that he doesn’t exist. If he can do that, he might be able to convince you that there is no god. Then you won’t be born again. Then you’ll burn in hell for all of eternity for believing the lie of Satan.


[ image: Ghandi, Hitler, Mohamed, Tevye very sorry and in great misery for their transgression of not being Christians – or not very good ones, in the case of Hitler ]

Filthy Sinner: Woah there, Moses. Slow down a bit. Boop Boop Boop. What do you mean Satan tries to convince me? How? Do I talk to him and stuff? I don’t think so. And seriously dude, Ghandi?

Christian: You know how like, a lot of times, you sit around thinking about stuff that isn’t in line with the word of god?

Filthy Sinner: No.

Christian: Well, that’s actually Satan’s voice.

Filthy Sinner: No it isn’t. Like I sit around thinking to myself in some gravelly, deep Heavy Metal voice.

Christian: If it’s not from God, It’s from Satan.

Filthy Sinner: I thought God created everything. And by the way, that Satan trick thing isn’t really all that clever.

Christian: Oh Yeah. Never mind. I was just messing with you.

Filthy Sinner: Maybe that’s your clever little trick.

Christian: Remember. The wages (wage) of sin is “death”. But after taxes it comes out to about “Don’t feel well. Better lie down.”

Filthy Sinner: So are you saying that whenever I get sick, it’s because of payment for some sin after taxes?

Christian: More or less.

Filthy Sinner: So where does the tax go to? Roads? Health care? It doesn’t make any sense.

Christian: The lord moves in mysterious ways.

Filthy Sinner: Yeah, ok. That clears it up. Where do I sign?

Christian: Sarcasm is the natural language of the devil.

Filthy Sinner: Where do you get this stuff?

Christain &
Filthy Sinner: Ooh! Look! A vampire! Aaaah! Run!
[ Crunch, rip, snap, slurp ]