Thursday, March 13, 2008
Every once a decade or so. People in Omaha start saying something that completely confuses me. Then they say it over and over again only adding to my confusion. Part of it is the fact that I'm old, but most of it is the fact that they're young.
So, in about 1994 or so I was working my way through college at the Wendy's at 72nd and south of Dodge. I held the coveted title of "Assistant Manager". Most of the employees were high school students. There were many times when one student would say "Whoop" only to get the extremely gratifying response "There it is". And then most likely the even more gratifying response from me along the lines of "There what is? What the hell are you talking about?" Eventually I found out they were actually talking about nothing. They were just making sounds come out of their mouths that approximated talking. It's what parrots do. Entertaining? You bet. I would often give the students treats to say it some more.
Sometimes they would also inform me that I was quite unable to "touch this."
Which works for me because I'm kind of a germ-o-phobe anyway.
13 or 14 years later. I'm still working my way through college, but I no longer work among teenagers. I do, however go to school with teenagers. I wish I knew then what I know now. Because the coolest hippest thing going on in Omaha was popularized by an alcoholic in a Tina Fey Movie several years ago. All the parrots are saying it. And from my understanding of it's usage, it would have been a great response to "Whoop, there it is". It's the charming, oft used term "I know, right?"
But be advised, don't try to impress high schoolers with this one. I asked my daughter (a very cool junior in High school) and she says it's rarely used there.
At the U.N.O. library, however. Throw it out there with reckless abandon. You can do anything with it. Just sit there studying and occasionally shout "I know, right?" and passersby will say:
passerby 1: what's with that guy?
passerby 2: I know, right?
I used to marvel at the versatility of the "F" word. I still do, actually. However, this "I know, right?" thing threatens to (at least temporarily) give "F" a run for it's f'in money.
I admit that I'm exaggerating a little bit. You should only say "I know, right?"
if it makes sense to do so. But guess what? It always makes sense!
To use a classic that refuses to die: "It's awesome!"
This post brought to you by spring break.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Saturday, March 01, 2008
See how I made it sound like I was riding? I was driving. Brady was most likely heading to his Shabbos ride with presumably Mitmon, Algomaha et al. I was driving home. I thought I was driving home to get on my gear and go do the anti-shabbos (ride alone somewhere). Why join a group ride to ride alone. I'm in Golf shape, not bike shape. Actually, I've never really golfed, but I'm sure I'm pretty good.
I wasn't going home to ride though. I was going home to change the wax ring thing under the toilet. It's kind of ironic that what's under the toilet is enough to make you puke, but you can't because the toilet is all taken apart and everything. Yuck.
I didn't know I was changing the wax ring thing. I thought I was just taking the toilet off and replacing a broken bolt. That's how it was advertised by Jill. Thing is ...you can't really replace the bolt without moving the wax ring thing. And you can't really move the wax ring thing without it just tearing all up and sticking to everything. Well, maybe you can. That was not my experience.
So I'm at Lowe's - trying to decide which wax ring thing will best fit the needs of me and my family. I'm getting pretty excited about this whole project because Gene Hackman's voice is in my head gently helping me find everything I need to "Get it done right". I find the Wax ring things in the 'plumbing' aisle. They range in price from around $1.16 to about $7.32. You'd think with the important function (keeping shitty water off the floor) that the wax ring thing performs, I'd settle for nothing less than the best. But I asked myself "What would Munson do?"
It might seem like a weird question, but anytime I have to "do-it-myself", I think of Munson. So I did what Munson would do. I didn't buy any wax ring thing. I just went home and wrapped a crapload of duct tape around the hole.
Then I went for a bike ride.