Thursday, November 26, 2015

The Little Yellow Christmas Light Who Lost his Way

So today is Thanksgiving.  We had a lovely dinner over at somebody's house.  It was nice.

Anymore, I'm beginning to think the traditional TG (as the kids will soon be calling it) dinner is falling out of favor.  It's such a huge pain to produce a dinner that is nobody's favorite.

Tacos.  Let's be real.  Tacos are really what everybody wants.  Tacos are tasty and easy to prepare.

Cheeseburgers (sorry KM) are also easy to prepare and so universally loved. Much more so than turkey.

Anyway - I had the day off from work today. The boys were out of school.  Jill was relatively unbusy so we spent all day before the TG dinner cleaning up the house.  It's needed it for a long time.

I went to the living room to start.  Jack was on the couch reading something on his iPad.  I asked him what he was doing. He told me he was done with the living room.  He was just waiting for Abe to vacuum.

Jack did not understand what it means to "clean the living room."  I think he thought it meant "Take that plate into the kitchen."

So Jack, Abe and I worked on the living room for a few hours.  It meant moving all of the furniture, throwing away any trash and cleaning and stuff.

The boys were not into it at first, but after finding a few lost treasures, they caught the fever.

After I moved the "Entertainment Center" and swept behind it, I found a single yellow Christmas tree light bulb.

It must have fallen behind there when we were taking the tree down last January.  I picked it up and showed it to Abe and Jack.  We considered its lonely existence for the last year.  It had been forgotten.  Abandoned.  Never to be reunited with its fellow bulbs on the glorious colorful bright strand.  It must have been a very sad and frightened little light bulb indeed.

If I hadn't pulled out that furniture, the little bulb may have been doomed to darkness forever.  But as luck would have it, the bulb was discovered on the last possible day.  One day before the Christmas tree goes up.  Finally to be reunited with all of his beautiful bright friends.

"What should we do with it?" I asked Abe.

"Just throw it away.  We've got plenty more." Said Abe.

And that's exactly what I did.  Merry Christmas everyone.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Because Science

I read an article the other day.  It was kind of a scientific journal sort of thing.  Normally, I get bored with these in a hurry.  They are usually too technical for me so I don't get anything out of them.

This one was different.  Much different.  Not only did I understand most of the words, there is a practical application to the scientifically proven facts in this baby.

The title of the article is 9 Scientific Ways to be Hotter.  Right away I can hear you saying "You? Hotter?"

Well I have recently applied some of the things I learned from this article and I am happy to report that I am getting lots of long, hard looks from people who never would have given me a glance before.

This is not surprising because, science.

Heck, I haven't even bothered to apply all 9.  Just the 4 or 5 convenient ones.  That's probably enough hotness for me anyway.

I linked the article above but I'll just write down the list here and mention the ones I'm going with.

1) Keep Your Chin Up

2) Keep your Eyes Open

3) Smile (Or Don't!)

4) Wear Red

5) Adrenaline

6) Androgyny

7) Don't Overdo the Scents

8) White Teeth

9) Eat Fruits and Vegetables

10) Red Lips Are Key

11) Ditch the Beard

12) Stick With a Group

13) Make Yourself Look V-Shaped

14) Get a Dog

15) Men Love Fertile Ladies

16) Average Can Be Better

17) Wear Some Shades

18) Collar Stays

So that is the scientific list of 9 ways you can make yourself hotter.

Number 3 clarifies that if you're a woman, you should smile.  But some scientific survey said women like brooding men more.

Number 9 "Eat Fruits and Vegetables" was obviously just stuck in there by the scientist's mother.  All the rest (after 9) are apparently bonus ways, so I stayed away from them.

For my new found attractiveness, I decided that from now on, I will keep my chin up and my eyes open.  I will brood and show off my white teeth.

That should be good enough.

The result?

Hello Ladies!
Science wins again.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

a quandary

I should just remain silent because I'm not posting tonight.  But I don't want my fans to worry.  I'll catch up with you soon.  Everything is fine.  Don't worry.

Thursday, November 05, 2015

Thursday Night Extra: Mind your Camera

My wife is a real estate agent.  She helps people buy and sell their homes.  That's kind of the point.

What she's really good at though is making houses look good so they are ready to sell at the best price.  It is a ton of hard work to get a house ready.  But it is worth it.

The only problem is by the time you get your house all fixed up, it looks so good you wonder if you really want to move.

Jill's been working with this couple a lot lately to help them sell their house.  

The couple has done a lot of the work and after months or years, they're finally ready to sell.

The transformation is amazing.

I can't even believe it's the same house.  

Now that the house is going on the market, Jill went over to take a bunch of photos for the listing.

At some point she put her camera down.  It wasn't until later she found out why you should never ever leave your camera unattended.

Ready to Race!

Maybe, someday. Not this weekend, of course.

The title and first line of this blog is a tribute to (ripoff of) Steve Martin.  On one of his albums he tells the audience "You guys are gonna be on a record!"

They all cheer and he says, "Maybe.  Someday.  Not mine of course."

So yeah - I stole an idea from Steve Martin.

The thing is, I don't have any original thoughts. I've thought them all up. I'm spent, so I have to borrow from others.  I put a lot of hard work in to produce a mediocre product so if you don't like it ...

Well Excu-u-use Me!!!

Too obvious?

Anyway - For some reason, I'm really excited about this weekend's cross races.

I am not sure why.

Maybe it's because I haven't raced since Pioneers Park back like 3 weeks ago?  I think that's right.

I've certainly lost a little fitness since then.  I don't figure to do too well, but I'm going to try.

The weather looks all nice and mild.  Hooligan Hill is ready.  There is some horrible sand pit (I'm guessing) they are calling "Sandtooine"

Normally, I'd be pretty pissed off about a sand pit, but after the mud pit at Cunningham Cross, I'm willing to give it a go.

I think part of my excitement is that my cornering is better than ever right now.  My remounts are coming along nicely (will probably still stutter step in race conditions).  I have a goal for this race.  One remount without a stutter step.

I think I can do it.

You know, a lot of time when I'm on a ride, people ride up next to me and they say "Cube, how can you be so fucking funny?"

"Well I'll tell you.  Before I get on my bike, I put a slice of bologna in each shoe.  That way, when I clip in and start pedaling, I feel funny.

Sorry - another Steve Martin joke.

Ok - We're about out of time.  Blogging sucks.  If it doesn't start getting fun again, I'm going to quit.  I don't want to quit, but I never seem to want to do it either.  So there's that. Dick.

Ok - writing "Dick" was kind of fun.  I have to go away now and think about why.

Good night or morning or what have ya.

Monday, November 02, 2015

Reminiscing with Shim

Gara e 1935, bicikleta vintage por te shpejta!
Gara e 1935, bicikleta vintage por te shpejta!
Posted by Eco Bicycle on Thursday, 29 October 2015