Oh place of employment. You're so cute.

Shortly after I started working here at the company, I went over to human resources and asked if they did anything with The Corporate Cycling Challenge.  I only asked because I didn't want to pay for my entry fee if I could get them to do it.  My previous employer had always forked over the entry and had even provided some nice team jerseys to the "real" cyclists in the company (Shim).  I didn't bring this up to them though because I remembered how much my new girlfriends always liked hearing about great stuff my old girlfriends used to do.

"No,"  they replied.  They didn't really see any interest in the Corporate cycling challenge from the employees.

"Ok, can we get a bike rack or something. I'd really like to commute by bike."

"No, I don't think anyone else wants to do that,"  they said, "Besides, where would you shower (with soap)?"

I said something like, "I mean - maybe if there was a bike rack, people would use it.  As far as the showers go, I have been meaning to ask about that too.  Could we get some showers (with soap) put in here at the company, please?"

"No."

So I was pretty much screwed as far as commuting went.  I was kind of ok with it, though.  This was at a time in my life when I thought that I should be a golfer.  Looking back on it now, I just don't understand it.  I was so completely obsessed with golf.  Perhaps even more confusing is how quickly it dropped away from me.  I have almost no interest in it now.

I'm not surprised that the company also shot down my idea to use all of the spare land to the north of the building for a driving range.

But then the following year at the company, something changed.  I believe it was related to getting a better health care rate, but the company was suddenly interested in and promoting all of these fitness related activities and tips.  The new motto was: "A healthy workforce is a productive workforce or some shit like that."

You could sign up for the walking club.  This was a group of people that would take walks around the hallways inside the office for a while.  They were allowed to wear gym clothes on these walks.

There was a designated circuit for these walks and people would do several laps.  We were emailed links to calorie burning calculators and information about the value of being active.  It was weird.

Also, they installed a bike rack.  They cut a chunk out of the grass as far as possible from the front door and poured some concrete.  Then they stuck a Saris bike rack on top of the slab of concrete.  It is not bolted down in any way, it just sits there.

Still no showers (with or without soap) but it was a start.

I think the reason they put the bike rack so far from the front door (about 150 meters) is most people think you won't mind walking if you don't mind biking to work.  That's only partially true.  I don't wear my "street shoes" for riding so I waddle the long walk inside to my desk where I keep my shoes.

But again, that's not a problem.  Whatever.  At least there's a place to lock up my bike now.

After they put in the bike rack, I said, "Hey - thanks for the bike rack.  Can we get some showers?"

"No."

In the heyday of all of this fitness stuff (they don't really do it anymore) , the company was all, "Hey everybody, get off your lazy fat asses so we can strike a good deal with the health insurance companies.  How - you ask?  We're glad to tell you ...",

They decided to be sponsors for the Corporate Cycling Challenge.  Again,  all kinds of emails went out.  There were signs posted in the hallways.  If you wanted to do it, all you had to do was sign up and you'd get a t-shirt and entry fee paid.  So I signed up.  Once the deadline was passed for sign-up, the company team was announced:


So yeah.  It was just me.  "You think I could get a team jersey?"  I asked the company.

"What do you think the T-shirt is?"  They asked.

"A T-shirt,"  I said.

Then the company and I just stared at each other for a while, confused.

That was 2009.  Four years have passed and nothing has changed (for better or worse).  You learn to do what you need to to get by.  After a while, it seems like a small inconvenience.  I'm glad the commute is not less than 16 K, so I get a nice morning ride in.

But then a few weeks ago, a sprinkler system was installed.  Here is my relevant note to HR:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Hinsley, Fred
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2013 10:44 AM
To:  HR (Human Resources) 
Subject: wet bike

Hello.  First of all, let me say that this is not really a big deal.  More of a situation I’d like you to be aware of in case there is a viable solution.  I am one of maybe 2 or 3 people that commutes to the office by bike.  I do this 3 or 4 times a week, depending on circumstances.  Recently, the sprinkler system has been giving the bike rack and surrounding concrete platform a good soaking.  This is not ideal for me. 

On Tuesday, it happened as I was standing there, unlocking my bike to ride home.  And though it provided great comedy for all those watching as I tried to hurry and get out of the way, it really isn’t ideal.

It may seem completely trivial, but I don’t know anything about the water that is spraying me or my bike.  Regardless, if my bike gets wet at some point in the day and is not cared for afterwards, it may suffer premature corrosion.

I’m hoping the sprinklers can either be adjusted so that they don’t spray the bike rack area or that I can park my bike somewhere where there are no sprinklers.

Let me know if you’ve got any ideas or solutions.  As I said at the outset, this is not a huge deal.  I can live with it.  It’s just one more inconvenience to deal with in my quest to bike to work.  Thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much to my surprise, HR responded almost immediately.  I had not really expected much at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: HR (Human Resources)
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2013 10:45 AM
To: Hinsley, Fred
Subject: Thank you for your Human Resources related inquiry

Thank you for your inquiry. Please note that as of March 16, 2012, this inbox is no longer being monitored.

For Payroll Questions: You can log onto to HRself-service to review your paystub, PTO balance and personal information. For all other questions email payroll@thecompany.com.

For Benefit Questions: Please email  TheCompany@someadvisors.com or contact them at [REDACTED].

For 401(k) Questions: Contact Principal at 1-800-547-7754 or go online to www.Principal.com.

For HR Self-Service Password Re-Sets: Please contact the helpdesk at  [REDACTED].

For Job Posting/Applications or VE Issues: Please contact jobs@thecompany.com.

For all other inquiries, please visit the HR page on the HUB or contact your HR representative.

Regards,

Human Resources

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Ok - so I guess HR isn't there anymore.  After asking around, I found out who to send my note to.  Then I went to lunch.  At lunch I was beginning to hate myself.  My note should have been more insistent, I thought. Or I should have come up with some suggestions for a resolution.

I was sitting in the cafeteria of the building looking out the window towards our smoking area.  Yeah we have a designated smoking area.  It's nice too.  It's right next to a door and it is covered to protect the smokers from weather.  Oh and there are no sprinklers that spray into it.

While I was eating my chicken sandwich, I started to think I should have said, "Can I lock my bike up in the smoking area?"

Then my mind went off on this rant about how they treat their smokers so well and their biker so poorly, yada yada yada.

But then an actual solution came to my mind.  Why do they have to water the bike rack during the day time?

I went back to my desk to add to my original note.  But when I got there, they had already responded:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Person, A.
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2013 11:17 AM
To: Hinsley, Fred; Facilities - Papillion
Subject: RE: wet bike

Wait - aren't you the guy that complained about no showers.  I fail to see the problem with the sprinklers soaking your dainty little bike and clothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Undeterred, I forged ahead with my suggestion:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Hinsley, Fred
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2013 11:37 AM
To: Facilities - Papillion
Subject: RE: wet bike

I just thought of a possible solution – if the sprinklers that douse the bike rack area could be set to not run between the hours of say 6AM and 6PM, that would probably work in most situations.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally, The Company proved they are still here for the little guy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Person, A.
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2013 12:24 PM
To: Hinsley, Fred; Facilities - Papillion
Subject: RE: wet bike

We have them set for 6 pm now.  So that's the time to be there if you still want to get your shower (with soap) in. You're welcome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Hinsley, Fred
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2013 12:27 AM
To: Facilities - Papillion
Subject: RE: wet bike

Thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~