I was so excited. I was like “This is what it’s all about. This is the reason I put in upwards of 15 hours of training this year. Look at all these bikes! It’s like the Tour De France or something!”
It was 2001. Lance Armstrong was on his way to winning his 3rd tour, and I vaguely knew who he was. I certainly would not have recognized him if I saw him.
The bike: It was a 1986 Bianchi Campione D’Italia. Pearl white. It was my dream bike (when I bought it for about $500 in 1987). It had Sun Tour derailleurs, Dia-compe brakes, twelve speeds - Well with some serious cross chaining.
I was cool back then, so there’s was no way I was getting a bike with those dorky LOOK pedals. Yeah, maybe when I take my bike skiing, losers. “I want my 2 dollars!” No thanks – it’s toe clips and tennis shoes for me.
Actually, it was a nice bike. It had just been neglected for years (by 2001). It didn’t really fit me right either. But I didn’t know that yet.
I survived RAGBRAI. Barely. Strong head winds every day (except Saturday). Inadequate training. A bike that was on its last (and actually first) wheels. By the third day (Tuesday) I was shoving handfuls of Gold Bond Medicated powder down my shorts to try to make the pain go away. This worked out especially well on Wednesday when it poured down rain. It became Gold Bond medicated crotch paste. Each day was endless discomfort. There was no way to get away from it. Standing hurt my feet and hands. sitting, well, you know. laying down – mosquito attack.
One day, the 3rd ninety mile plus day in a row. My bottom bracket spun out (for the second time of the week) leaving my crankset a bit, uh, wobbly. I had 2 or 3 gears for the next 8 miles until I found a bike repair stand (I refused to SAG). I was in pain. I was alone. I had 45 miles to go. It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand. Eight year old girls with pink, power puff themed bikes and streamers coming from their handlebars were passing me on the climbs. <--this 100="" 10="" 11="" been="" br="" but="" by="" could="" don="" eight="" except="" get="" have="" i="" is="" know="" old.="" or="" point.="" t="" that="" the="" they="" true="" way.="" were="" years="" you="">
I was very slowly going up this hill. I was out of options. I didn’t know what to do. I was racking my brain trying to figure out how I’d get through the next 3 or 4 hours of hell. Then I thought - maybe it would help if I started crying. You know, just start bawling my eyes out.
Then the image of people (8 year old girls etc.) passing by, seeing this big guy (at 215 lbs) riding up the hill crying, got me laughing. It was funny enough to get me through the rest of RAGBRAI XXIX.
As much as it sucked, I did have a lot of fun. The drinking, smoking cyclists were my new thing. A party on wheels. Yaaah!
Sure I was out of shape. I was also disappointed with my performance. I decided that I was going to do it the right way the following year. I would get a new bike, train properly and set a goal for myself. I arbitrarily set a goal of 17 MPH overall average for the ride.
But that’s not why I brought it up.
I bought a new fancy bike (LeMond Zurich) just after RAGBRAI and just before the 2001 Corporate Cycling Challenge. I went on this ride feeling pretty superior. I mean I was a RAGBRAI veteran for God’s sake! 42 Miles? Ha! Where do I sign up?
When the ’01 CCC started, I was in heaven. Just like RAGBRAI, but without all the camping! Look at all those Bikes! It was just like the Vuelta or something! Just kidding. I had not yet heard of the Vuelta. I had a wonderful time, big smile on my face, weaving through the crowd, getting into a group that was hammering pretty fast (probably in the neighborhood of 20 MPH). There was one guy leading the “paceline”. He would not let anyone else pull. If you tried to, he would get back in front and pull. Ok, whatever dude. Also, he was wearing jean shorts. Daisy Duke style.
Which brings me to yesterday – and something Bryan said on his blog. Since that first CCC, I’ve always started at the very front of the group. I’ve been away from most of the danger since 2002. Yesterday, however, I thought, what difference does it make? I’ll just start back here and work my way up. Maybe just ride in this big pack of people for a while. That was fun for about 20 seconds. After being in the middle of that turmoil, "Must. Get. To. Front."
Somehow, I managed to not get into any accidents or to run over any of the dozens of Aquafina bottles splayed about the roadside. That’s right, they don’t fit too snug in standard cages. I did get up to the front guys before Highway 36, where I was able to relax and enjoy my usual routine of wheel-sucking to Ft. Calhoun. In fact, that was my nickname in college.
I think Brady flatted going over some RR tracks, but I haven’t seen or heard from him yet, so I don’t know.
I’d like to say that our group was the first in to Ft. Calhoun, but I have to admit that many, many people made it in before us. Of course they were all on mountain bikes and going about 11 miles an hour, so I’m guessing they got a head start. Seriously. Just drive down there and sign-in if you don’t want to ride it. But then, what am I bitching about? Had these people started at the same time as everyone else, it would have been that many more people swaying back and forth. Not a care in the world. la-la-la, nice day for a bike ride, eh?
14 comments:
Fred you missed the flat tire debacle. On that long downhill on hwy 75, we came apon John, Bryan's friend. He was in your group until he flatted on that long downhill. So we helped him change it and another guy hit the same spot and double flatted. He fixed up his one wheel with his one tube, but needed our help for the other. Then when we were just about done with his, 2 women came rolling to a stop around us and started getting their flat changing stuff out. I noticed that this woman was going to try to use her CO2 on her innertube that was wrapped around the rim, WITH NO TIRE ON IT. Luckily I stopped her, put the tire back on, got the innertube properly seated and let them spray their liquid freezing air in.
During all this flat changing, we got passed by ssssoooo many people. As we were heading into Ft. Calhoun, we were passing people, but there were swarms of them. And I felt so bad for the few cars that tried to get past them. They were taking up the entire road without a care in the world. Nothing will make a driver hate cyclists more than making them creep along at 15 mph on a hwy where the speed limit is 65. Such is life I guess.
Of course, on the way back, John had to get another flat so we'd have to repass all those slower people we had gotten around. Oh well, it was fun regardless.
Thank you for your hilarious write up about ragbrai. So when you dropped Jonny on that hill past Boyers Chute on that one ride, were you envisioning getting back at those 8 year old girls with streamers?
Geez. That sucks. To have to get past those people, what? 3 times!
When I went by you guys at the beginning - could you tell I was debating whether or not to ride with you? Then I was just like - screw it, I'm going up there where it's nice and quiet. I was in no mood to go hard (so I just sat in) but I was very nervous around all those squirrels. Like Bryan said, It was real scary.
Why did you stop her!!! That would have been really neat. I wonder how big the tube would have gotten before she would have figured out something wasn't right.
I have thought about trying to take out my vengeance on the little girls, but I realize, they're now like 14 or 15 or so, and would prolly just school me again. I'm best off acknowledging my defeat and moving on.
That was the best post, ever. Quit while you're ahead. Go out a winner. I'll even show you some respect if you do. No more similarities to nature, I promise!
Mike: great comment. That was the second best post ever, next to Fred's of course. Copy and paste it into Munsoned in the Middle of Nowhere as it is worthy to stand on its own.
hey, who ended up winning that thing? I got dropped on the big climb outside Fort Calhoun.
Um, don't quote me, but I think Shim sprinted for it (the Ft. Calhoun Sign). I'm not sure if it was contested or not. Maybe Ellis tried. I don't really know. I was just hangin' out in the back. There were 10 people in our group at the Ft. Calhoun sign (If you don't count the Mtn. Bikers we were passing).
... unless you're talking about the finish back downtown. In which case I don't know. I slow down once we get off of Highway 36, due to all of the people and confusion and children and stuff.
I meant who won the whole thing. I threw my bike to get ahead of Mike at Fort Calhoun. I figure I did come in before about 1,000 people, so it's probably good for some upgrade points.
I did the town line sprint into Nashville and Ft. Calhoun,(mostly uncontested)then once I sat up here comes Ellis two hundred meters later going past all out, of course it was the first time he saw the front of the group the whole ride. When we get back to the starting area it was way too sketchy to go fast, so Bernardo and Jeff go to the wrong ride of the road and open it up. After already having the cops yell at me a couple times I coasted in dodging some of the sketchiest riders I have ever seen.
Oh and that crash on the rr tracks was a wild scene, one guy drops a water bottle twelve "Fred's" hit the pavement, sorry Fred, but thats what their called.
I hope Brady finds my comments worthy of an honorable mention.
NP Shim. I'm just glad I wasn't one of the Fred's on the ground.
Shim, let me break it to you as gently as I know possible: you ***SUCK***
You post your first comment in who know's when from your Celeron 1100 eMachine that you bought at garage sale for $40 and think that you're Milton or something. And then it's a trite, self-absorbed remark about you, Freds & Fred. Totally lame. Furthermore, you drop cliches like...well like Aquafina bottles at a social group ride. I wonder: how do you even manage to write your own name in the snow?
You'll get no accolades of praise from me, fella.
It's not that you don't have potential; you're just lazy and don't like to exercise your brain. Once a year is not enough, buddy. There'll be more opportunites for you to post, but you'll have to get a new computer.
Brady, this is nearing the funniest commets ever. I think I may have won that contest though. Check out the comments on the first post here about Van Damme.
And while you're at it, click the pic to get a mesmerizing show.
YIKES!
If you knew Ellis, Jeff or Bernardo and were not offended by being a Fred, you might have understood how hilarious the comments were, and when I said uncontested it was an exgageration in that I was the only one sprinting and mostly as a joke. Sorry you missed the point.
I'll try to keep my comments centered around sandwiches from this point forward.
shim -- you have a Celeron eMachine? Sweet.
My wife is in charge of the computers at our house, thats a womens job right? And yes my daughter has a Barbie computer, but she won't let me play with it.
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