What were they thinking?

I suppose I could go ask, but I'd feel stupid if the answer is something as simple as it seems (they were high on crack so they weren't really thinking).

But I can imagine the events leading up to it.

Tuesday afternoon, December 24th 2013.  It's Christmas eve and all the mechanics at Meineke Car Care Center have had a crazy busy day.  Well - all of them except for the asshole manager who gives himself the day off.

So after the shop closed for the night, the workers decided to unwind a little before heading out for some last minute shopping.  As always, when the boss is away, "unwinding" involves whatever drugs were brought in.  Usually it's just a little liquor or dope, but on special occasions (like Christmas Eve), Santa always provides something a little bit more "festive" to the good men and women of Meineke Car Care Center.

Last year, it was a shitload of smack and 2 years back ...  the stockings were stuffed with meth.

As the 2013 Christmas Eve crew worked their way to the back room where the company Christmas party is always held, they agreed the day was right for some good ol' fashioned crack cocaine.

They were just settling in around the back room table when the phone rang.  It was the manager.

"Oh thank god you're still there.  Before you go tonight, I need you to change the sign," He said.

There's a big sign out front.  It has the company logo and below is a board for customized messages.  Normally - these describe whatever "special" is going on.  

No matter what time if year it is, changing the sign is a miserable job.  But in the winter, it's the worst.  It involves a long pole with a suction cup on one end.  The suction cup has to be dampened so each plastic letter in the message can be attached and hoisted into position.  If it's windy - and a letter falls, there's the added horror of the letter slicing through the air to the ground, pausing only briefly to gash your face.

On this night it was just about 9 degrees fahrenheit and nobody wanted that job.  Whoever got stuck doing it would first have to take the other letters down.  The water from the bucket would freeze his hands something horrible.

They asked the boss if it couldn't wait.  He refused.  It was no use.  It had to be tonight before they left.

Gus, the lead tech, volunteered to do the job if the rest of the guys would stick around and get all coked up with him while they decided what to put on the sign.

Those boys all agreed to that.  How hard could it be?  Especially once the creative powers of the drugs took over.

So Gus and the boys smoked crack and brainstormed.  After about 3 hours of smoking and storming, they had it narrowed down to a couple they "sort of" liked but there was no universal consensus.  

Finally, Gus said, "Maybe we need to be a little bit more wasted.  Sol, hand me that quack - er, crack  pipe!  Uh - huh huh, huh huh huh."

At this, of course just about everybody fell over laughing at how funny Gus was.

Then Stewart, who they all called "Professor"  because he was the smartest of all of them - said, "Did you just say 'quack'?  What's Quack?"

And the problem was solved. The sign was finished a short time later and they all had a very Merry Christmas after all.

    

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