Not Talking About Bowie

Maybe some other time I will talk about what David Bowie meant to me.  Maybe I won't.  But now is not the time.  I was shocked when I heard he died.

I knew his birthday was last Friday.  He also released an album.  Amazon Prime had it available streaming, so I listened to it Saturday while I was on the rollers.  Yep.  That's Bowie.

I didn't know he was sick.

I've spoken here and here about Bowie.  Or rather - about me with Bowie as the backdrop.

The first time I ever became aware of Bowie's existence ...

Oh wait, I'm not talking about Bowie.

But his surprise (to me) death does bring up some emotions I'd like to share.  Thanks in advance for your consideration of my thoughts.  This isn't easy for me:

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One of my least favorite types of comments old people make begin with a phrase like "Kids these days."

People will claim that they were raised to respect their elders.  That their parents would have "whooped" their asses if they'd behave the way the "kids these days" do.

I've seen people lament that the kids these days are soft because they've never had to go off and die in a world war.

Kids these days just play video games.  Communication is dead because they use text messaging instead of just punching each other or whatever they did in the 50's.

I think what I hate most about the talk above is it's just not true.  Kids are not more "spoiled" than we were.  People haven't changed at all.

Communication isn't ruined.  I never talked to anybody except my close friends when I was a kid.

I see so many kids, fresh out of college starting careers and way more responsible than I ever was at that age.

And I was more responsible than the people complaining now.

So yeah - I don't think the old ways are any better.  I almost always think we are moving in the right direction as a planet.

The rest of this post is about bicycles. The future of bicycles.

I am surprised how many people are openly embracing electronic shifting.  I am hearing more and more rave about this marvelous new innovation.

Gregg (from Olympia) told me recently that he had demoed some electronic groupset from SRAM.

He went on and on about how lovely it was.

I told him why it's a deal breaker for me.  It's not a bike anymore.  Not the way I think of a bike.

Making shifting easier by means of electronics crosses the line.  But not enough to make it any easier to ride the bike.  Maybe due to weight savings (if there isn't any yet, there will be), but you still have to do all the legwork yourself.

And then you have to remember to charge your bike or you wont be able to shift (I'm guessing).

That's just stupid.

I just saw a remark on the Facebooks that with electronic shifting, no more worry about cable stretching.

Um ..

When the fuck do you ever worry about cable stretching? Well replace that with worrying about all the other crap that will go wrong with electronic shifting.

When the cable stretches - give the barrel a turn.  Then forget about it.

But none of that stuff really matters to me.  I have to admit the reason I hate the idea of electronic shifting has to do with a certain romantic attitude I have toward a functioning bicycle.

In the past, when bike improvements came along, the pros were always slow to adopt them.  And even slower to adapt them.  Not me. I don't end up getting the new thing until way late, but that's more economics than skepticism.

Disc brakes on road bikes?  Yes please. Clipless pedals?  Of course.  Brifters? Absolutely.  Full suspension Mtn Bikes?  You bet. Fat Bikes? Well, no.  Fat bikes are dumb.

However - fat bikes are still bikes.

But cube? You've got batteries all over yourself when you ride.

I carry a phone.  I have a heart rate monitor.  A  Garmin.  A power meter.  All require batteries to function. If I ever forget one of these things within the first mile or so of a ride, I will go back for it.

It's as if I can't ride without all of these things.

But I can.  Because none of those things is required for my bike to work perfectly well.

Oh Cube!  Just try battery powered shifting!  You'll love it and so on.

If I'm, say, riding around in Las Vegas or something and somebody's going to rob the casino, I could be in big trouble.  As we learned from the docudrama "Oceans 11,"  You can temporarily knock out all electronics for miles by sending an EMP out to everywhere.

I'd be riding around and boom, my heart rate monitor, cell phone, power meter and Garmin all stop working.

Admittedly, even if I just had boring old regular non-electronic shifting, I'd probably pull over and wait it out, just so I wouldn't miss out on any Strava segments or anything.  But that's not the point.

The point is, I could still ride and shift if I wanted to.

I think if there was a way to still shift in the event of a dead battery or casino robbery, I would be more willing to consider electronic shifting.  Or if I could shift somebody else's bike, maybe.

Which - that's another thing.  I've heard the Electronic shifting evangelists claim that the signal is solid.  Difficult to interrupt or hack.

Bullshit.  When has anything wireless ever worked flawlessly?  It's a little inconvenient when you're trying to watch Netflix.  But could be deadly if you're bombing down a hill and need to stop suddenly.

What?  How could that matter?  It's shifting not brakes?  Good point.  It makes no difference.  Until electronic braking is a thing.  Oh it will be.  I promise.

How can I be so sure?  Because it's a really stupid idea.  Like Fat bikes and eShifting.

Can you even imagine how mad I am at those electronic bikes? No you can't. And I'm not going to go into it right now.  But  I can tell you it's way worse than Fat bikes (still a bike) and eshifting (not a bike). Specialized makes one.  It's made to look like a bike.  You can hardly tell, but it has "battery assist."

Oh for fuck's sake!  Just get a goddamn motorcycle already.