Man I hate it when people make excuses.
And I'm one of the worst there is. But I'm trying (see - there I go again). It's just that I (oops - I was about to make an excuse for why I make so many excuses)
I generally hate all excuses, but the ones I hate the most are what I hear from the loser of some athletic competition.
Whatever the reason for the loss (and there are often valid ones), it smacks of poor sportsmanship to complain about something that happened or some mistake that you made. The implication is that you are better than all of the people who just defeated you and if that one little thing would not have happened, you would have won.
Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter. If you are truly better, the win will happen. Everybody has to overcome something.
The first time I noticed how much I hated hearing excuses was when I heard a counterexample. It was after the 1996 Feista Bowl. Florida against Nebraska who was a 3 point favorite. It figured to be a close game. Florida got embarrassed. It ended up 62-24. By the way - I had to look all this up. Unlike everyone else in my family, I don't remember these things too well. What I do remember is what Steve Spurrier said after the game. It floored me. It was so rare in sport that it stood out. He was asked what happened. He said, "They whooped us."
That's how you do it. A lot of people don't like Spurrier for whatever reason, but I've always respected him after that. He knew he had a good team. He didn't have to make excuses. He just told the plain simple truth.
In 2002, Lennox Lewis finally got his chance to fight Mike Tyson after waiting for years. I think Tyson was in prison for raping someone or something.
Boxing is one of those sports where there seems to be more excuses for a loss than any other. It's common for a loser to say - after a fight - "Well yeah, I broke my hand earlier this week in training so that was hindering me."
You what? Broke your punching thing that you use to punch people with at your job of punching people? You didn't think that's something the bettors would want to know about? Idiot.
I'm not bitter.
Anyway - Tyson was not in his prime when he fought Lewis. I don't know that anyone other than the greats of the late 60's early 70's would have had a chance against Tyson at his best.
On Tyson's path to Lewis, he had to fight Lou Savarese. Thirty-eight seconds later, he was being interviewed where he rambled on incoherently about his religion and burying relatives. Then an amazing shit storm of words came to him. It seemed at the time like some spirit with a vocabulary had just entered the otherwise muttering goofball known as Mike Tyson. It was poetic, weird and scary:
Always the logician, Lennox Lewis was at once disturbed and confused by Tyson's stated intentions. It seems that he took Tyson's charming rant to heart. I was listening to a radio interview where Lewis was saying that it was hurtful what Tyson said and anyway, Lewis didn't have any children, so.
Now - I don't think taking Tyson's word literally is too smart. Lewis may as well have said "How can he be Alexander, Sonny Liston and Jack Dempsey?" On the other hand, Tyson had tried to eat Evander Holyfield's ear a few years before that, so maybe ...
But much like Alexander, Sonny Liston and Jack Dempsey before him, Tyson got knocked out by Lewis in the eighth round.
Because of the crazy shit Tyson says, I was eager to hear his nutty take on his defeat. This was several years after the Spurrier incident, so my extreme distaste for excuse making was in full swing.
Interviewer guy: What happened?
Oh here it comes, I thought. I expected something about how Allah tripped Tyson or something.
Tyson: He beat me up.
And there it was. The smartest thing Mike Tyson ever said. And I got to see it live!
What's really weird is that no matter how goofy (very) Tyson is, I'll always respect him for that one time he accepted defeat gracefully.
The Saturday morning group ride. One of my favorites. You never know when it's going to come, but it will. It could be as early as departure from the coffee shop or as late as the mellow few miles back into town. It might be after a brutal climb, but it's coming. At some point, someone is going to tell nobody in particular how late they stayed up drinking however many beers they had and how little sleep they got as a result.
I believe this is meant as an excuse for any potential inability to hang with the group that day. But I'm not sure. I hear it from people who then proceed to drop the group, so maybe it's one of those lies that cyclists tell. Like "I'm on recovery today, so I won't be going hard at all."
Besides, I usually ride really well when I'm hungover, so ...
And I'm one of the worst there is. But I'm trying (see - there I go again). It's just that I (oops - I was about to make an excuse for why I make so many excuses)
I generally hate all excuses, but the ones I hate the most are what I hear from the loser of some athletic competition.
Whatever the reason for the loss (and there are often valid ones), it smacks of poor sportsmanship to complain about something that happened or some mistake that you made. The implication is that you are better than all of the people who just defeated you and if that one little thing would not have happened, you would have won.
Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter. If you are truly better, the win will happen. Everybody has to overcome something.
The first time I noticed how much I hated hearing excuses was when I heard a counterexample. It was after the 1996 Feista Bowl. Florida against Nebraska who was a 3 point favorite. It figured to be a close game. Florida got embarrassed. It ended up 62-24. By the way - I had to look all this up. Unlike everyone else in my family, I don't remember these things too well. What I do remember is what Steve Spurrier said after the game. It floored me. It was so rare in sport that it stood out. He was asked what happened. He said, "They whooped us."
That's how you do it. A lot of people don't like Spurrier for whatever reason, but I've always respected him after that. He knew he had a good team. He didn't have to make excuses. He just told the plain simple truth.
In 2002, Lennox Lewis finally got his chance to fight Mike Tyson after waiting for years. I think Tyson was in prison for raping someone or something.
Boxing is one of those sports where there seems to be more excuses for a loss than any other. It's common for a loser to say - after a fight - "Well yeah, I broke my hand earlier this week in training so that was hindering me."
You what? Broke your punching thing that you use to punch people with at your job of punching people? You didn't think that's something the bettors would want to know about? Idiot.
I'm not bitter.
Anyway - Tyson was not in his prime when he fought Lewis. I don't know that anyone other than the greats of the late 60's early 70's would have had a chance against Tyson at his best.
On Tyson's path to Lewis, he had to fight Lou Savarese. Thirty-eight seconds later, he was being interviewed where he rambled on incoherently about his religion and burying relatives. Then an amazing shit storm of words came to him. It seemed at the time like some spirit with a vocabulary had just entered the otherwise muttering goofball known as Mike Tyson. It was poetic, weird and scary:
"I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, the most ruthless champion there has ever been. No one can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No! I'm Alexander! He's no Alexander! I'm the best ever. There’s never been anyone as ruthless as me. I'm Sonny Liston. I'm Jack Dempsey. There's no one like me. I'm from their cloth. There is no one who can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want his heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!"
Always the logician, Lennox Lewis was at once disturbed and confused by Tyson's stated intentions. It seems that he took Tyson's charming rant to heart. I was listening to a radio interview where Lewis was saying that it was hurtful what Tyson said and anyway, Lewis didn't have any children, so.
Now - I don't think taking Tyson's word literally is too smart. Lewis may as well have said "How can he be Alexander, Sonny Liston and Jack Dempsey?" On the other hand, Tyson had tried to eat Evander Holyfield's ear a few years before that, so maybe ...
But much like Alexander, Sonny Liston and Jack Dempsey before him, Tyson got knocked out by Lewis in the eighth round.
Because of the crazy shit Tyson says, I was eager to hear his nutty take on his defeat. This was several years after the Spurrier incident, so my extreme distaste for excuse making was in full swing.
Interviewer guy: What happened?
Oh here it comes, I thought. I expected something about how Allah tripped Tyson or something.
Tyson: He beat me up.
And there it was. The smartest thing Mike Tyson ever said. And I got to see it live!
What's really weird is that no matter how goofy (very) Tyson is, I'll always respect him for that one time he accepted defeat gracefully.
The Saturday morning group ride. One of my favorites. You never know when it's going to come, but it will. It could be as early as departure from the coffee shop or as late as the mellow few miles back into town. It might be after a brutal climb, but it's coming. At some point, someone is going to tell nobody in particular how late they stayed up drinking however many beers they had and how little sleep they got as a result.
I believe this is meant as an excuse for any potential inability to hang with the group that day. But I'm not sure. I hear it from people who then proceed to drop the group, so maybe it's one of those lies that cyclists tell. Like "I'm on recovery today, so I won't be going hard at all."
Besides, I usually ride really well when I'm hungover, so ...
Anyvomit, I started thinking about all of this because I recently realized that the post-loss excuse is usually preceded by the pre-game promise. I don't know if Spurrier made any sort of claims about the outcome of the Fiesta bowl. But Tyson compared himself to Alexander The Great. Then got beat by a guy from Canada (Something that never happened to Alexander the great).
November is my favorite time of year in terms of cycling. The off-season. A.K.A. Promise season. It’s time for all of us to come out and make all kinds of promises about training and next year’s results. It’s so easy. It requires almost no work. You only need to state your intentions. If you’re smart, you will just do this with your voice and not write it down somewhere where everyone can reference it later. Not that anyone will because, well, nobody gives a shit about your training plan. Well, unless you win all the time. Then they will ask you about it. You won't have to write it down anywhere. At least, that's what I hear.
November is my favorite time of year in terms of cycling. The off-season. A.K.A. Promise season. It’s time for all of us to come out and make all kinds of promises about training and next year’s results. It’s so easy. It requires almost no work. You only need to state your intentions. If you’re smart, you will just do this with your voice and not write it down somewhere where everyone can reference it later. Not that anyone will because, well, nobody gives a shit about your training plan. Well, unless you win all the time. Then they will ask you about it. You won't have to write it down anywhere. At least, that's what I hear.
I can't tell you how often this has happened (but I bet you can make a pretty close guess):
Hey Cube, you've never won a race or anything. Could you tell me about your training plan, please?
You know what? Screw this post. I'm tired. Dammit, there I go again.
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