Virtual Assholes

Lately I haven't felt I've had much to say.  Last week, I mentioned that I thought it might be because of winter.  There's little going on during the big chill and [hence] little to write about.

I could tell a story of something from the past if I could think of one.  I can't.  I'm pretty sure I haven't told them all yet, but maybe I have.

During other parts of the year, I might talk about something that happened while I was out riding or otherwise doing stuff other than shivering.

In past winters, I've blogged about my [training] or made promises about what I would do when the next season starts.  I don't do that anymore.

Now I just get on the rollers throughout the week and go on the occasional weekend ride.

The rollers still suck, but the time is slightly more bearable if I use the Zwift.

Or at least it was.  For a while.

Zwift is a pretty cool idea.  Sort of like a video game where the controller is your power meter or approved trainer equipped bike.

Zwift is probably less than a year old and they have a long long long way to go if they're going to succeed.

The login process is clunky.  The limitations are many.  There are only a couple of courses available and you don't get to choose which one you go on.  Well - I've seen chatter that you can change the date on your computer if you want to ride the course that isn't offered for whatever day.  Um no.

But overall, the time on the rollers goes by quicker with Zwift since it kind of sort of resembles riding a bike if you squint.  Not really, but kind of.

When I first started using it, I had to be careful or just close my eyes when "cornering."  I rolled right off the rollers a bunch of times.  Kind of funny, I guess.

Also, I think I'd get a better workout (more structured) if I just did the music thing (no TV or Zwift). As it is, I'm mostly focusing on power output during the Zwift rides (this is what determines speed, based on whatever grade you're riding on).

So I rarely focus on just high cadence work - which I believe is an important part of any balanced breakfast.

Anyway - there's one thing that works flawlessly on Zwift.  Group chat.  Absolutely perfect. There's no end to the meaningless text messages popping up on the screen.  I think some people are logging in just to chat.  They can't actually be concentrating on a workout.

Often people are fighting about Donald Trump or calling Merckx a doper (so what) or telling everyone to just shut the fuck up and ride or telling everyone to watch their language and just ride and so on.

There are the occasional racist comments and the obligatory ensuing outrage and public flogging and such.

Then someone will say "Don't feed the trolls."

Other people need to tell you what they're doing:

"Whew just finished my FTP.  Totally got my head kicked in."

"Metric Century finished !!"

"That's all for me.  Thanks for the ride, guys."

"Who here is from Ohio?"

"Tennessee here."

Then there are those who brag about how great the weather is wherever they live.

"Yeah - 60 and sunny here!"

I wait for sometimes up to 3 seconds before somebody else says, "Why the hell are you not riding outside?"

It never stops.  But it's not all bad.  The other day soebody actually offered the best advice I've seen so far.  He wasn't talking to me.  He was talking to another rider who was complaining about all the chat (and presumably completely missing the irony).

"WHY CAN'T ALL YOU PEOPLE JUST SHUT UP AND RIDE YOUR BIKES!!!"

"If you don't like the chat, just go into your settings and shut it off, dumbass!"

Doh.

So I did.  That's better.

So if you're ever riding around on the Zwift and you ask me a question about Donald Trump doping, don't be offended [ or do ] if I ignore you. I may not hear you.  I've got my music on.

Ok winter. We get it.  You can go now.  I mean it's still better than Arizona at any time ever, but I'm a little tired of it.

But 'Cube. What's wrong with Arizona?

I hope you're joking reader.  I really hope you're joking.