Goldilocks and the 3 Bears

 Let's pick up the story in roughly the middle of the action.

... Goldilocks first sampled Papa Bear's porridge, "Holy shit, that's hot," she cried, tossing down the spoon and heading over to Mama Bear's bowl. Which is seriously rude. I mean you walk into a house and find no one there, so you just help yourself to a bowl of hot porridge.  But then, it's not at your preffered temperature, so you figure maybe the others are palatable.  

 But then, Mama Bear's porridge was too cold and so Goldilocks moved on to Baby bear's food which was "Just right"

 

Ok - right there.  Maybe Mama Bear's porridge was next to the air conditioner or an open window or something, but probably, it was colder than the rest because it was in a smaller bowl.

But why would Mama Bear be eating less than even the baby?

 I'll tell you why.  Because Mama Bear was on a diet because of all of the unrealistic expectations put on her by the media.  Papa Bear too. He'd always slide in the seemingly innocuous comment about had Mama Bear added a couple pounds.

 "Woah, somebody's getting ready to hibernate!" was one of his favorite digs.  But it really left Mama bear feeling bad about herself.  

It wasn't until she realized she was a lesbian and broke with Papa that she found true love and happiness.

 

The End.