I'm back (for one very special night) -- You should probably read this one unless you hate laughing.

But this time ... it's traditional.

There's a fantastic movie from the 80's. It's called "Hot Shots!" The exclamation point is part of the title.

Anyways, there this thing they do in this movie where the love interest of Topper Harley says something that Topper can't believe is true.

So he says, "You're joking."

Then the woman says, "If I were joking I would have said "A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"

At which point, Topper realizes just how serious it is.

I thought of this joke several months ago. At the time, I thought there was something I could do with it.  There's a thing that I used to hear or that people used to say, I can't remember which.  But it's about a joke that someone doesn't get.  Sometimes (not usually) if someone doesn't get a joke, they will tell you.  They'll say something like "I don't get it."

Then the person telling the joke might say "It's not as funny if I have to explain it."

This is a dumb thing to say.  If somebody didn't get the joke, there's no way it's less funny if you have to explain it.  It will be at least as funny.  Or maybe ... You didn't explain it right. Or maybe the thing that isn't funny is you!

Or maybe you are telling a joke that you didn't get in the first place but since everybody else around thought it was hilarious, you thought you'd tell your friend.  Then maybe you didn't quite tell the joke right.

I'll give you an example. It's a joke I've told on this blog before to explain something about how some written jokes won't work as well as if they were spoken.

Charlie Brown is showing off his brand new Speedo at the lake.  Lucy says "Charlie Brown. I always suspected you were crazy, but now I can clearly see you're nuts."

As a spoken joke, the homophones  "your/you're" really go to work in a lovely way.

But what if you heard the joke and didn't get it.  So you're all, "So what? Lucy thinks Charlie Brown is crazy. Big deal."

Then everybody laughs even harder. Now you think it must be terribly funny to people what Lucy thinks of Charlie Brown. So you figure that you've got a joke people will like next time you're sitting around and people are telling jokes.

So you give the joke you don't understand a try, finishing with "... But now I can clearly see your testicles."

Ok that's still pretty funny. Never mind.

Or what if you hear the joke and don't get it and you have the misfortune of being British?

Then you might say, "But now I can clearly see you're a nutter."

Stupid British people.

But if everybody else was laughing and you didn't get it and you said "I don't get it" maybe somebody would explain it to you.

"It's funny because Lucy is either saying the Speedo is a ridiculous thing for a boy of  Charlie Brown's physique to wear, or that his balls are exposed."

Or maybe you get the joke when you hear it, but you start telling it and you can't quite remember the trick.  Maybe you forget that Lucy was speaking directly to Charlie Brown.

Your version goes like this: So Lucy and Sally are at the pool when Charlie brown walks up in his brand new Speedo and says 'Hi' and as he's walking away, Lucy says, "Sally, I always suspected your brother was a little crazy, but now I can clearly see he's nuts."

This one could still actually work, but Lucy would need a thick accent and Lucy doesn't have a thick accent.

You could change it slightly to say that Sally and that guy from the Raiders of the Lost Ark who saved Indiana Jones by preventing him from eating a poisoned piece of fruit (because that guy had a heavy accent) were at the pool ...

Then the guy from Indiana Jones turned to Sally and said with his heavy accent of unknown origin, "Your brother. I can cleerly see eez nuts!"

Do you get it? Because in heavy accent, his/he's is a homophone. Oh never mind. It's not as funny if I have to explain it.

Anyway - back to the "Why the long face" joke. I have written an explanation or apology for it.  I wrote it on a piece of paper and placed it right here on my desk.  It's not here on my desk anymore. It might be in a drawer. I will look later.  If I find it, I will post it.

Otherwise, I'll probably just write some self-indulgent bullshit about the races I've been doing lately.

Goodnight.