It may or may not be called that by the time I finish. The thing is, I was writing on a post that I work on from time to time. It's just awful. Boring, stupid, self-indulgent. Even by my - um - what's the word ... not 'estimation.'
See that's the problem. The right words are not coming to me right now. Hang on. I'm going to get that one I'm trying to think of. It is 9:53 and 45 seconds.
At 9:55 and 30 seconds, I decided to go with "assessment." I don't think that's the one I wanted, but I'm going with it for now. Maybe the right one will come to me as I begin to tell you why I'm here tonight.
I was writing this piece of shit about playing darts. Thrilling, I know. I'm sure there's a funny story in there somewhere, but I just can't seem to find it.
I was writing this thing about darts when my son and wife came up and commandeered my computer. My son needed to use it for school work or some crap.
Fine, I thought. I'll just go ahead and put a seat on my old road bike, which is what I did.
My old road bike didn't have a seat on it because I took it off last night to put it onto my cyclocross bike.
Last night as I was getting ready to go to the cyclocross practice, I noticed that the seat looked funny. Kind of crooked or something. I took a careful inspection of it and found this:
So I did that while the people were at my computer doing work.
By the time they were done and I got back to my dart story, the mojo was gone. So I started thinking about something very funny I saw on the facebooks the other day.
It was one of the cleverest posts I ever read until I read it. That was kind of the beauty of it.
It was posted by Scott Redd and it was brilliant. I know, right?
Anyway, it was only brilliant until I saw it. Actually it was no longer brilliant when I saw it because I was not the first one besides Scott to see it.
It was something like "I know you won't share this post because I've made it private."
But it was a photo (not a screenshot) of his status saying that and you could see that it was marked as private.
It is nice that he shared the photo of his private status so that we could all get a good chuckle. But it simultaneously ruined it.
If he'd never posted the photo, we'd never know. We'd never share (as he predicted) and it would be hilarious. It's hilarious weather [sic] anyone besides Scott ever gets to enjoy it.
That's where Scott and I differ. That and the type of cyclists we deride. I deride the type Munson is and he derides the type Munson used to be.
C'mon Munson! Become a cyclist Scott Redd can deride again! As long as I'm here, I'm proof you're not too old. My wrists hurt too. All the time (true story). HTFU. Then I won't deride you anymore.
Or is 'deride' the right word? Maybe in today's political climate, "pillory" is a better word.
That's pretty funny. You know how people do those stupid puns or play on words with the names of the candidate they hate?
If you were a Trump supporter, you could say something like, "I'd never vote for Pillory Clinton."
Then all your fellow Trump supporters would be all embarrassed for you. "Um, Mike. Ooh. This is awkward. It's not 'Pillory' - It's Hillary.
Or maybe they'd just laugh along because they'd think you're implying she's popping a bunch of pills.
"There goes that old drug addled Pillory Clinton - am I right?!?"
Sorry - so I was thinking about Scott Redd's Brilliant - until he ruined it by sharing it - post and realized that I would not have ruined it if I had thought of it. Sometimes there is a joke that is only funny if it is not shared with anyone. These are the worst. I have maybe 50 or so of them. I have ruined a few of them by trying to explain them to people, but I've learned my lesson.
When Scott stumbled upon one of these gems, much like a bike ride where you're not lugging a campsite around, he didn't know what to do.
Regardless (the private part of this blog post sentence begins with the word "Irregardless" which is hilarious for a completely original and new reason that I cannot share or it will ruin it) of the fact that Scott ruined his own joke like a cup of camp coffee after a 70 mile bike ride, I still appreciate what he had attempted (and failed) to do.
I was thinking that "The very [word not found] of what he almost accomplished just blew my mind.
The word is not even close to "audacity"
"The audacity of what he almost accomplished just blew my mind"
No - that was not the word. However, the great thing about that word is that if you read the sentence, you'll know how the inflection should be. All you need to do now is figure out what the right word is and it will all make sense.
When I started this post, I thought if I came up with the right word, I'd go back and change the title.
I did come up with the right word. Whew! But I'm not changing the title because unfortunately, the correct word is one of those things that is only funny if it is not shared.
What a coincidence!
But here. I will leave you with this exercise. This is something I do at work. It is in the realm of private jokes.
I will send emails to people with the occasional intentional grammatical error.
I don't know why I do it. I just think it's funny.
I will reply to some request for help with something like:
"Please reboot you're pc, than let me know if you still have the problem. Thanks!"
Also - if you'd like to play the Scott Redd game, feel free to guess what completes the sentence about how awesome his post would have been had he not shared it:
The _________ of what he did just blew my mind.
Good luck.
One last thing. The word "assessment" from earlier sucks. The word we were looking for was "valuation." not "evaluation" either, but "valuation" Thanks for playing.
God bless.
1 comment:
Bawls?
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