Blanche DuBois Ride

"I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."  -- Blanche DuBois

So I guess this article is a big deal this week.  I read a couple of references to it before someone actually linked it.

I hear the comments to the post are infuriating.  I don't know because I don't read comments to things like this. It's just a bunch of trolling.

The FB people I know who are complaining about it are saying something about damaging biker-motorist relations and blah, blah, blah.

I don't know.  It was weird.  I read the article and pretty much agreed with every sentiment in there.  Somebody said something to the effect of the article was "engineered" to create a division between humans on bikes and humans in cars and why can't we all just get along or some such B.S..

Don't get me wrong.  I would love it if motorists weren't complete lunatics.  But the truth is, they are. It doesn't matter if I'm on a bike or in a car.  The absence of "we/they" isn't going to happen.  The vast majority of motorists are cautious.  They are careful and considerate and I appreciate it.  But if 1 in 500 is a stupid asshole who has no business behind the wheel, you'll likely encounter him while you're on a bike ride.

Since you're (usually) going much slower than cars, you see a lot more cars than if you were driving.  How many times when you're driving a car do you see somebody doing something stupid?  If the answer is never, you're the one doing it, moron.

Like I said, most people are pretty cool.  But it only takes one bad one to end you.  That's why we get mad at them.  It's kind of a big deal.  And no.  Getting mad about it doesn't make it worse.  It might seem like it at the time, but if the motorist is truly in the wrong, screw that guy.  He's not going to get better or worse.

Oh hey that reminds me.  I kind of um, lost my temper last Tuesday.  I was done with my workout and was heading home all nice and easy like.  I was on a short, but bad section of road.  It's the road that turns into Cuming to the west, just north of the Pedestrian bridge.  There are 2 lanes of traffic, but it's kind of busy on that little stretch.

I was riding along and a large Rental truck (Ryder) buzzed by me at about 45 MPH.  When he first passed me, he gave me about 2 feet of room.  By the time the back of the truck cleared me, I had less than 6 inches.  I got as close as I could to the curb and focused all of my attention to gesturing in his Mirror.

I had a tailwind that day.  A strong tailwind.

But he was still going way too fast for me to catch up to him and respectfully enter into a conversation about safety and the law, etc.

But I had to try.  It was like my civic duty and stuff.

So I pedaled pretty hard and got up above 30. I was in all out attack mode when a silver car pulled up beside me and the passenger gave me a thumbs up.  He said "Go get that asshole!"

I just smiled, encouraged, and upped my pace a bit.  The adrenaline doing wonders for my output levels.

One thing that happens when you drive way faster than the speed limit is that you have to stop at the red lights and wait for all of the people going the speed limit to catch up to you.

There sat Mr. Ryder.  Left lane.  Front of the line.  The right lane (my lane) was empty and I was closing fast.  As I got even with the back of the truck, the light turned green.  No point in stopping to chat.  The truck would take off.  So I just kept going.  Once I was in front of the truck, I again restated my opinion with hand motions.

I don't think the driver or passenger of the truck agreed with my opinion, so they came up to tell me about it.

They pulled up beside me (going about 15 at this point) and began to question my behavior.

"What the fuck is your problem, man?"

I began to discuss basic courtesy and the law and everything, but the driver continued to yell and threaten me.

He said, "I will fuck you up. How you like 'at, boy!"

Then I understood. I had been speaking the wrong language.  I responded In kind with various assertions of my manliness and his lack thereof.

Of course this was all bluff.  But it's was a powerful one.  There's no win for the guy who squares up against a guy wearing lycra and road shoes.

I am not kidding (it surprised me though) when I say my taunt actually startled the guy. Totally unexpected, but I could see the driver in this moving truck was afraid of me, a guy on a bicycle.

Then we both looked forward to see that there was some construction that narrowed the street to one lane.  The left lane. The truck's lane.

Mr. Ryder Stomped on the gas.  We were only going 15.  Big trucks do not accelerate well.  I was in the perfect gear and big tailwind.  I jumped.  Easily outsprinting for the single lane.

I got in front of the truck by a whole bunch and took over his lane.

Then I thought I had maybe done the most foolish thing imaginable.  All he'd have to do now is run me over.  But I was clear of him and swung to the right as the construction cleared.

I looked back to see a most marvelous sight.

Remember the silver car?  Apparently, they had been hanging out behind me this whole time.  When I sprinted for the lane, they followed my lead and blocked the truck.

Next, they pulled up beside me, close, so the truck couldn't go anywhere.

The passenger said, "What the hell's the matter with those guys?"

"I honestly don't know."

Well we talked about it for a few seconds, while Mr Ryder was becoming furious, stuck behind the silver car.  Honking.  Yelling some bitch-ass shit.

The silver car passenger asked me if I was going to be ok if he took off, and I showed him the weapon I always carry with me.  He understood and gave me another thumbs up and was on his way.

My next encounter was to be with the truck.  But I was not afraid.  Maybe I should have been, but I figured I had the power here.

Lots of people have no problem being complete assholes.  Very few want to be seen that way on YouTube though.

So I took my phone out and pointed it at the truck.

They quietly went by, slowly and respectfully giving me the whole lane.  They were also silently returning my gesture from earlier, but their fight was gone.  That was when I whipped out a big smile. I had won.  And it wasn't by handing out poppies to motorists or some such nonsense.

So yeah, FTG.