Because Science

I read an article the other day.  It was kind of a scientific journal sort of thing.  Normally, I get bored with these in a hurry.  They are usually too technical for me so I don't get anything out of them.

This one was different.  Much different.  Not only did I understand most of the words, there is a practical application to the scientifically proven facts in this baby.

The title of the article is 9 Scientific Ways to be Hotter.  Right away I can hear you saying "You? Hotter?"

Well I have recently applied some of the things I learned from this article and I am happy to report that I am getting lots of long, hard looks from people who never would have given me a glance before.

This is not surprising because, science.

Heck, I haven't even bothered to apply all 9.  Just the 4 or 5 convenient ones.  That's probably enough hotness for me anyway.

I linked the article above but I'll just write down the list here and mention the ones I'm going with.

1) Keep Your Chin Up

2) Keep your Eyes Open

3) Smile (Or Don't!)

4) Wear Red

5) Adrenaline

6) Androgyny

7) Don't Overdo the Scents

8) White Teeth

9) Eat Fruits and Vegetables

10) Red Lips Are Key

11) Ditch the Beard

12) Stick With a Group

13) Make Yourself Look V-Shaped

14) Get a Dog

15) Men Love Fertile Ladies

16) Average Can Be Better

17) Wear Some Shades

18) Collar Stays

So that is the scientific list of 9 ways you can make yourself hotter.

Number 3 clarifies that if you're a woman, you should smile.  But some scientific survey said women like brooding men more.

Number 9 "Eat Fruits and Vegetables" was obviously just stuck in there by the scientist's mother.  All the rest (after 9) are apparently bonus ways, so I stayed away from them.

For my new found attractiveness, I decided that from now on, I will keep my chin up and my eyes open.  I will brood and show off my white teeth.

That should be good enough.

The result?

Hello Ladies!

Science wins again.