I lied

Sort of.

Today I joined up with the U.P. Taco/Lunch Ride, now with Jim Maaaaske (not sure when to stop with the a's). I bet a lot of people think Jim's last name is pronounced "Masky" and a lot of people are wrong.  Look at all of those a's.  It's got to be drawn out for a while.  Kind of like the castle Aaaaargh.



Anyway - after the ride, I told Brady - "Hey Brady.  I'm not blogging about getting pulled over last night."

He said, "Neither am I."

Which is good because Travis already covered it here.

But alas, I am going to talk about it.  Sigh.  I changed my mind for 2 reasons.  The first is that I want to post a photo of myself in the act of being casually deliberate.  Brady took the photo and I asked if I could borrow the negative to get a couple dozen 8X10 glossies made.

He was so kind as to ... Hmm?  What?  Casually deliberate?  Oh sorry.  Yeah.  The Velominati defines it:

Rule 80 // Always be Casually Deliberate - Waiting for others pre-ride or at the start line pre-race, you must be tranquilo, resting on your top tube thusly.  This may be extended to any time one is aboard the bike, but not riding it, such as at stop lights.

They also have many great articles on the subject, but I want to talk about the photo.  I didn't know it was being taken.  I was quite proud of my obvious Casually Deliberate demeanor.

OMG, legal rights are soooo boring.

So here I am (bottom left), elbows on the bars, left thigh on the top tube, looking off to the left at nothing in particular. I'm just waiting for the cyclists ahead to stop arguing with the Sheriff's deputy so we can resume the ride.

If you care what it was all about (I don't) you can read Travis's blog post (linked above).  By the way, Travis is directly to my right in this photo.

There may have been others doing the "Casually Deliberate" thing, but you can't see them in this photo.  Everyone else is all hands on hips or locked elbows.  Well, Stu's taking a swig - so that's kinda cool.  Newman!

When this photo was taken, I was actually bored and getting a little annoyed.  Which brings me to reason 2 for changing my mind about talking about this.  Reason 1 was to show the photo of me being Casually Deliberate.

The second reason has to do with my opinion on the whole matter.  This extends to every time I find myself in a situation where I'm being scolded by a cop.

I would like to offer some advice to people who may not have had the good fortune to be raised by someone who had countless run ins with the law. Dad learned a set of "best practices" around the police that he shared with me and I have always applied.  For dad, it took a few nightstick beatings when he truly had done "nothing wrong" to learn that you don't fight the battle out there on a lonely country road (or highway, if you prefer).

You say, "yes sir.  I understand.  Sorry" and so on.

But no.  We've got to argue with possibly the nicest sheriff's deputy on the planet.  The guy was polite.  He just wanted us to do something other than what we were doing.

As I was looking to the left, I was thinking, "Oh please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up Randleman and the rest of you.  But mostly Randleman."

Don't they know they will get nowhere with this guy?

If I would have been forced to say anything, it wouldn't have been , "I know my rights.  You're wrong.  Blah blah blah"

I'd have said something like,"Oh jeez.  We're sorry.  We did not know that.  We will not do it anymore. Promise.  Thank you ever so much for pointing it out and shit." Then do as he said until he was out of sight.  Everybody's happy.

But no. After several minutes of arguing, we finally got back to riding (the way the cop said until he was out of sight).  We stopped at the Ft. Calhoun gas station (as always) and the cop showed up.  Several of the guys then huddled around his window, chatting gaily about statute so-and-so and who gives a shit.

So I left the gas station. I was thinking I'd soft pedal until they bid their new boyfriend adieu.  While riding along, I imagined the guys catching up after their group hug or whatever.  I thought maybe they'd want to know why I didn't stick around and listen to the intellectual statute debate. I was reminded once again of the wise words of Samuel L Jackson who once said "I just don't dig on swine, that's all." Then a scene from Pulp Fiction played in my mind.  It goes like this:

  

I will say that the cop that gave us a good talking to was approximately as charming as Arnold on Green Acres.  Certainly not ten times as charming.