The answer 2.0

Like most of the people I know who are bike riders, I am always looking for a way to get faster.  Last year was not a good year for me.  I won't go into the details, but I had several setbacks.  Family commitments.  Injury.  Etc.

In 2013, I blogged several times about various things I was learning about improving.  And I did improve.  A lot.  But I never quite made it.

Last weekend I learned the final piece of the puzzle.  Actually, I didn't learn it last weekend. I've been figuring it out over the last couple of weeks based on some observations I've made about recent group rides.

When I started getting serious about my riding a couple years ago, I was introduced to "The Rules."

Now these are mostly tongue in cheek sort of entertaining things to read.  Especially if you're an avid cyclist.

At first, I went a little overboard with it because it was fun and (to me at least) funny.  But then I relaxed and let the rules have their rightful place in my brain.  More of a "yeah but - who gives a shit" guideline.

Sure "HTFU" is good advice for anyone.  But as soon as we let "rules" keep us from what we enjoy, we've lost the point.

I only bring up "The rules" because today I figured out that there is only one rule that matters.  If you follow this rule, you are well on your way to becoming one of the best cyclists in the area.

Which rule could it be?  There are so many.  Maybe it's Rule V.  The cornerstone.  The aforementioned "Harden the fuck up."  It makes sense.  The only way to get faster is to work hard.

But no.

Could it maybe be rule #20:

There are only three remedies for pain.

These are:

• If your quads start to burn, shift forward to use your hamstrings and calves, or
• If your calves or hamstrings start to burn, shift back to use your quads, or
• If you feel wimpy and weak, meditate on  Rule #5 and train more!

Yeah - that's basically rule V all over again.  I don't know how I didn't see this before.

Or how about:

Rule #67

// Do your time in the wind.

Nobody likes a wheel sucker. You might think you’re playing a smart tactical game by letting everyone else do the work while you sit on, but races (even Town Sign Sprints) are won through cooperation and spending time on the rivet, flogging yourself and taking risks. Riding wheels and jumping past at the end is one thing and one thing only: poor sportsmanship.

This is a good one.  It's one I try to stick to.  I try to contribute to a group ride as much as I can until I am dropped.  Some would argue that I should save myself if I can't hang.  But I say I need the work if I can't hang.  Besides, what am I there for if only to sit in?  That's just stupid.

But that's not the answer.

Last year, I specifically detailed the importance of:

Food.
Water.
Rest.
Recovery.

The answer is Rule 43:

Don’t be a jackass.

But if you absolutely must be a jackass, be a funny jackass. Always remember, we’re all brothers and sisters on the road.

When I first read this, I laughed.  The rest of the rules are kind of jackass in the first place.  It doesn't seem to belong.  Through recent observation though I've learned that there is some mystical power to not being a jackass.  And I can prove it ...

I was recently ... uh oh.  what's this?

~~

I had a plan to go into great detail - but I'm starting to get a migraine.  I get them from time to time.  A lot of people think that if you have a bad headache, it could be called a migraine.  This is not quite true.  I can't really see the screen right now.  Not if I look right at it.  My vision is impaired by a bunch of colorful zig-zag lines.  It looks sort of like a packaging design for tortillas or a blanket you might buy in Arizona.

Anyway, I'm going to go to bed and close my eyes now.  It won't stop the zigzags, but it seems to allay the nausea.

I promised proof of the effectiveness of not being a jackass.  That will have to wait.  I will say this however ...

I have been witness to - and victim of - all sorts of jackassery in the last few weeks.  I have also experienced a lot of encouragement and people coming inexplicably to my defense in some of these instances.

In every single case, the jackasses are not among the best riders in the group.  If anything, they are bottom half.

The nice guys?  Toughest mofos in the state.  Seriously.

So if you want to kick ass on the bike, you better learn to be a good human.  Or you can keep on sucking and being a jackass.  It's probably a lot easier to put others down than to actually gain any skill or talent. So you've got that going for you.

Either way is fine with me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch the pretty Aztec light show in my brain.