When I posted this a couple of days ago, I thought it was pretty clever. Who am I kidding, it's damn clever and I know it.
If you don't know who Lloyd Dobler is, you're not alone. I didn't either before I decided to post this status update. I had to look it up.
There's this iconic image of John Cusack holding a boombox high above his head. He's got kind of a late eighties cool thing going on with the trench coat and sleeves pushed up and everything. This is from a movie called "Say Anything." I've never seen the movie, but I have an idea what's going on here. I could be completely wrong, but it seems like he's trying to get the girl and this is some sort of powerful scene at the end where he finally wins her over.
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| How do I spell "Triumph?" |
I'm thinking the girl was probably reluctant to enter into a relationship with "The Dobler" here, but she finally did and he made some big mistake to break her heart. Only after the fact did he realize how much he'd screwed up.
Maybe while they were still getting along nicely, he had made a flippant remark. I bet they were having a conversation about suckers at love. Peter Gabriel was playing in the background and Lloyd was all, "I could never say this stuff to a girl - give her the upper hand like that? What a sap!"
So after he realizes he just screwed up the best thing he ever had, he would do or "say anything" to get her back, he plays that very song outside her window. I'm getting all weepy just thinking of this fake scenario. Imagine how fantastic the actual movie must be!
The image above says - "No matter what you think, my resolve will not waver. I'm holding this damn radio above my head."
And that's cool.
But you know what I hate? For some reason people do that with their bikes. I've never understood it. Usually it is to say, "I've accomplished something."
It might be winning a race or finishing a mountaintop ascent, but it always looks really really stupid.
I've seen it for years, but the first time I saw it and it made me go "Ewww!" was when I saw this:
This is from a couple of years ago. It is a local cat 5 race. The winner - who is a brilliant biochemist by day, decided to take his steed up there with him on the podium.
Like I said, I'd seen people lift their bikes before, but this was the one that made me hate the sight from then on.
I mean:
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| Oh, the Majesty! |
Also:
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| The glorious glorified glory! |
I like the last one, because the helmets are hanging from the handle bars. Douchebags.
I think what I hate so much about it is that it is so unnatural. I understand that people pose for photos, but this is a whole different level. You made it to the pinnacle. You've arrived. You want to save this moment forever. Unless you did the race or climbed the mountain while holding the bike over your head, (which would be impressive) why?
The only time you are holding your bike up ever is when posing for a photo. That's just stupid. I don't get the inspiration. I've always wondered about it until I remembered Lloyd Dobler.
I realized that all the people who hold bikes over their heads are trying to win the girl. I bet they're humming "In your eyes" while they do it.
Well you know what guys? You're not going to win the girl. Ever. You look like a buffoon.
But I do have a suggestion. You still won't win the girl, but you will look way less ridiculous after your great bike achievements.
Instead of taking your cue from Lloyd Dobler, you need to look to an earlier John Cusack character. I'm talking about "Bryce" from sixteen candles. He was one of the super nerds in the movie. At one point, some bullies threw him into the trunk of a car.
That's where your bike should be for all your triumphant photo shoots you fucking tool. You're welcome.
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